Undercover Advice Columnist: Annie Misses an Abuser

I’m not even going to disgust you with the entire column this poor woman from California wrote. Synopsis: Her boyfriend of 4 years (she’s 26) uses sex to manipulate her. To have power over her. She describes sex as his, “favorite form of currency”. Otherwise, he is her “best friend and we are extremely compatible.”


Annie chalks this up to “sexual compatibility issues [which] don’t disappear. In fact, they tend to get worse over time, especially compounded with the other traits [fake boyfriend’s name] displays. If you are determined to stay with [fake boyfriend name], please get couples counseling to see whether you can make this better.”

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. Annie you dolt! Your go-to answer  of, Please get couples counseling is USELESS. This guy is AN ABUSER. And THAT is what’s not going to disappear and WILL get worse over time. When this mysonginistic nymphomaniac can no longer control this young woman with sex he will turn to his fists. Then his hard toed shoes. And his hands around her neck. And a gun to her head. I wish you had written this instead:

Dear California:

Your boyfriend is an abuser. He is using sex to control you and manipulate you. The next step will be him forcing sex upon you and beating you when you disappoint him. Change your locks. Change your phone number. Then dump his sorry ass. Even better–move far away if you can. Find your local Domestic Violence agency and get advice THERE–not from some faceless, clueless columnist like me. Get counseling from a certified professional who can help you develop your strengths, instincts and plans as a strong, independent woman. One who can help you understand the difference between a true best friend and a manipulative abuser. You deserve nothing less!

One thought on “Undercover Advice Columnist: Annie Misses an Abuser

  1. Yes! Yes! Yes! That would have been the better reply. Proud of you, Karen, for continuing to shed light on what abuse really looks like. Thank you for sending a clear message about domestic violence!

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