Listed under, People of Size on the Southwest Airline website, “Customers of size who prefer not to purchase an additional seat in advance have the option of purchasing just one seat and then discussing their seating needs with the Customer Service Agent at their departure gate. If it is determined that a second (or third) seat is needed, they will be accommodated with a complimentary additional seat(s).”

Seriously? In other words, you don’t have to prepay (like it says at first) even though you know you won’t fit in the allotted same as every other paying passenger space between the armrests but you can scam your way to a free seat(s) at the check in counter.

The flight attendant is supposed to fit their cart past this? More importantly, isn’t this a safety issue? And well, kinda discourteous to neighboring and passerby passengers?

Am I missing something here? I mean, if I want an empty seat or two next to me, I have to buy them. Is Southwest penalizing me for fitting between the armrests of the single seat I purchased?

So here’s my plan: Once through security, I’m going to strap my mini doxies on my hips–one on each side–and slip into my finest floral tent dress. I’m going to approach the gate agent and say, “Ya know, I bought this ticket last week but woke up this morning thinking my 47 inch hips won’t not fit on a single seat so can I have two more for free? Awesome, thanks! No I didn’t hear a growl. Oh that? That was my stomach. I’m hungry. Do you serve fried Twinkies on board?”

Speaking of scams and Dachshunds–let’s talk small pets.

I love Delta. They’re my airline of choice. But they can’t justify to me the difference between my 30 pound computer/carry-on bag that fits securely under the seat in front of me for which I pay $0 and my 11 pound Miniature Dachshund in her FAA / airline approved carrier that fits securely under the seat in front for which I must pay $125 EACH way while it counts as my (otherwise free) carry-on.

Laptop? Free! That cute face? $250!

Someone, anyone, please justify that?

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